You were a cutie tonight… describe me briefly and I will buy you lunch at Joe’s Crabhouse the next time I come for a visit…
Nice of him to offer to buy you lunch, but we wouldn’t recommend going to Joe’s Crabhouse.
Joe’s Crab Shack, yes. The Crabhouse, no.
This poorly written post and arbitrarily punctuated ecard are certainly not making a good case for sole custody.
This must be devastating to all the hoes who are emailing him.
Having both studied and lived in London, I’ve endured my fair share of transatlantic flights. And while I have many memorable stories from them, perhaps the most memorable involves a note I found in my passport case after a long flight from California to London.
A few things:
1.) Fancy a what?
I assume Kevin intended to ask me if I fancied going for a beer sometime. Normally I might extend some grace, but this note was handwritten– leaving little to no room for typos.
2.) You a magician, Kevin?
How he managed to get the note into my passport case still remains a mystery. I wore this super
attractive practical passport case around my neck for the duration of the flight and only took it off when I passed through security. This is disturbing because either a) he put the note in the case while I was still wearing it, or b) he managed to place it in the case at security check. Neither of these options bode well for airport security.
Still, I feel bad for Kevin. Maybe it was nerves. Maybe he truly didn’t know how to spell the word “beer.” Maybe he was offering to take me out for a large, furry mammal. I will never know.
But even if Kevin had handed me the note, and even if he turned out to be cute, or charming, or (god forbid) British, I still wouldn’t have called the number he gave me. If a man can’t spell basic, monosyllabic words, he and and I simply cannot date. Damn those high standards of mine!
So Kevin, if you’re out there, I’m sorry. Sorry that we could never go for that beer (or bear, for that matter) because of a small (but significant) mistake. I’m sure there is a girl out there who won’t care so much about proper English usage. In fact, a few of them are featured on this blog.
Do you have a strange/funny/cute/amusing real life missed connection you want to share? Submit it to email@example.com and if it’s strange/funny/cute/amusing enough, it might be featured. Don’t hold your breath.