Tagged: Craigslist

The dog and the little bitch.

Picture 93

You licked my fingers –m4w– 35 (Folsom)

… you reached out and began licking my fingers. It was disgusting and adorable. I began making kissing noises and fawning over you; scratching your ears, patting your head…

Me: excitable, clean-cut, blue jacket. Typically a cat person.

You: small and compact, with black and white fur and ears that stuck out.

We’ll let you decide who is the little bitch and who is the dog in this situation.

We suddenly understand that one Paula Abdul song.

Picture 52

I was the blonde in the white corvette, I almost hit you. You were walking your pitbull and I forgot to look up from my espresso when I saw you begin to run! Sorry! I thought you were cute though! Sorry for the scare! Get at me if ya want to teach me some driving lessons, my car goes fast!

Straight up now tell me do you really want to love me forever? Or am I caught it a hit and run?

The [un]Professional.

don't take that job...

Hey, you aced the interview. You had no reason to be nervous, you were fantastic. I thought you were beautiful and I admit it wasn’t easy to focus. I’d love to hang out! This feel [sic] like a long shot, but if you catch this then get back to me with the only question you asked me. 😉

Turns out, they were both looking for a job. But the job he wants has nothing to do with employment.

When you go to the Davis co-op, you expect a certain level of crazy.

I saw you at the co-op today, 10/13/12. Around 5:30. You were blonde, short, cute. Wearing some kind of yoga pants. They were tight, black and looked to be made out of some elastic material. I think that’s what yoga pants are.

I’m a tall, brown-haired, wearing grey shirt with khakis rolled up to my knees. I probably had a helmet on. I was just locking up my bike. You were on your way out of the store to your bike.

We said “hi” to each other. You caught me practicing a character. I’m sure I seemed like a crazy person, talking to myself in that voice. But then, maybe you didn’t hear; I was talking pretty softly. I don’t know if you smiled because you saw me, or because you heard me talking to myself and felt like taking pity on the weird guy mumbling about a polarbear named “Pookie.”

If it was you, respond to this and I’ll buy you a cup of tea. We can talk about Victorian poetry. Or whatever.

But he’s pretty coo coo for organic gluten-free vegan fair trade cocoa puffs.