The following is a fictional account based on a true story:
It was approximately 8 pm when he hung up his phone on the first cold day in Sacramento. He shivered, not from the cool weather, but the coldness in his now ex-girlfriend’s voice when she told him they were through. He was sad, but mostly relieved.
Just then, he got a text from his buddy.
Hey, man. Wht ru up 2?
He paused for a second and texted hastily.
Not good, bro. Meet me at the bar?
He was already halfway there on foot, so he wouldn’t take his car. Plus, the last thing he needed right now was a DUI. When he arrived, his friend Bo was waiting for him at the bar with a rum and coke.
“Just what the doctor ordered,” said Bo, sliding the drink to him.
And never had a rum and coke tasted as good as it did right then. When he would think about his time at the bar later, he would wonder how many of them he actually consumed. At the time though, he didn’t care.
“Sheena dumped me,” he told Bo. And he didn’t have to say much after that, not that he would have remembered. He and Bo don’t need words to communicate, they just had an understanding. He liked that about Bo.
The rest of the night was a blur. Until he got to his apartment. The light was on, which he thought was strange because he remembered turning it off earlier on account of the SMUD bill he recently got in the mail.
As he fumbled with his keys, he saw movement from the inside. This also caused him pause. Mostly because he lived alone.
He dropped his keys out of shock and bent down to pick them up. When he stood up, he was staring into a pair of greenish eyes. He dropped his keys again. This time instead of bending to pick them up, he tried at the door.
“Let me in! What are you doing? Get out of my apartment!” he yelled. Though because of his state, it probably sounded more like, “Garrrghhh, wharrrrr doiiinnnnn!!”
He couldn’t be certain how long he was outside of his apartment, but it was long enough for him to vomit into a potted plant and pee on the bushes. It was then that, even in his drunken state, he realized his apartment didn’t have any potted plants. And this was not his apartment at all.
As he yelled inside to the
intruder rightful occupier of the apartment, “Sorrrrr diindddt blarrrgggg,” he noticed he wasn’t alone outside of his someone else’s residence.
“Sir, put your hands up where we can see them.”