Category: Shopping for Love

When you go to the Davis co-op, you expect a certain level of crazy.

I saw you at the co-op today, 10/13/12. Around 5:30. You were blonde, short, cute. Wearing some kind of yoga pants. They were tight, black and looked to be made out of some elastic material. I think that’s what yoga pants are.

I’m a tall, brown-haired, wearing grey shirt with khakis rolled up to my knees. I probably had a helmet on. I was just locking up my bike. You were on your way out of the store to your bike.

We said “hi” to each other. You caught me practicing a character. I’m sure I seemed like a crazy person, talking to myself in that voice. But then, maybe you didn’t hear; I was talking pretty softly. I don’t know if you smiled because you saw me, or because you heard me talking to myself and felt like taking pity on the weird guy mumbling about a polarbear named “Pookie.”

If it was you, respond to this and I’ll buy you a cup of tea. We can talk about Victorian poetry. Or whatever.

But he’s pretty coo coo for organic gluten-free vegan fair trade cocoa puffs.

Just because y’all met at Whole Foods…

Brunette with nose piercing and tats… was looking at your eyes (soulful) not your breasts. But not opposed to looking at those too if you’re willing. Coffee and eye contact may be more appropriate first.

… doesn’t mean his intentions are wholesome.

This may seem a bit drastic…

You were wearing a black dress with flowers. I was kidding when I said I was stalking you. Now I think it sounds like fun!

…but you’re probably gonna want to burn that dress. Also, how do you feel about moving to Canada?